Bang~!

Just now.. I finally acknowledged this gaping hole in my chest.. It really doesn’t hurt, you know.. It’s all just…empty..

I know deep inside, it’s ultimately my fault. You did everything you could. It’s just me who keeps depending on you even when I know I shouldn’t.

What am I supposed to do now?

I don’t know, really. Sitting in front of the PC, staring at it blankly, I wonder how my hands continue to move. How do they keep on typing these words?

I’ve been trying to avoid thinking the whole day. Sleeping was out of the question. I’d already gotten a mighty headache from lying down for too long.

For the first time in all these years, you’ve really failed me. It doesn’t hurt. It really doesn’t. But… I don’t really feel anything at all… isn’t this worse than hurting?

I think I’m almost at my limit. I can only take so much, you know. Between my family, my school, my friends, and everything else, you were the one that kept me in one piece. Maybe if I didn’t depend on you so much, your absence wouldn’t be such a big deal. But that’s really more my fault than yours.

It really doesn’t hurt. Not at all. If it did I’d be suicidal right about now. But then, maybe it’s because I’m already dead….

Miranda, the “frenemy”

Great..just great.. I hardly find the time to write in my Nth blog and now I get to whine again.. Just so you know, I’m not normally a rant-y person.. I even planned to write something positive today.. until I completely forgot what it was.. anyways, on to my terribly biased post..

*sigh*

This is what happens when OLD people try to connect with YOUNG people.

Read This

Have you finished reading? I expect you to read it if you are to understand my rant.

First of all, a frenemy is a very very bad person for me. If you’ve seen the movie Mean Girls, you’d know exactly what a frenemy is. A frenemy is someone who deliberately STABS YOU IN THE BACK.

Dr. Kirschner puts the following into the frenemies category:

• A “best friend” takes an instant dislike to a date you really like
• A friend insists that all the “good ones” are taken
• A sister/brother reminds you of your past failures or the duds you’ve fallen for
• Dad criticizes any date you bring around
• Mom clucks about how men/women would find you more attractive if you only lost those 10 pounds
• Your two closest friends flake on the first dinner party you’re hosting with your date

Being a paranoid friend/overprotective father/ fuzzy mother DOES NOT make you a backstabber! Having people around you who remind you to BE CAREFUL is not the reason why love is f**king hard to find! The only thing I’d agree with her on is when mothers tell their daughters they’re too fat.

And what does she have against Miranda (Sex and the City)? She is SO NOT a frenemy! If you’ve seen the movie, you’d know that she had no intention whatsoever to sabotage Carrie’s wedding. Things just happened and she ended up being the bad guy.

Her article pisses me off because she is turning loveless people against their family and friends. She’s giving them an excuse to blame others why their lovelife fails. I know it’s important to get support from people close to you. I know pessimistic people can also bring you down. But seriously, thinking of your parents and friends who worry (whether or less “too much” is beside the point) as your “enemies disguised as friends” is hardly the solution. How many successful marriages are there wherein the parents-in-law hated their daughter/son-in law’s guts?

Think about it. Did you really break up with your last boyfriend because your father thinks his grades/pants are too low? And EVEN IF everyone around you always says, “all the good ones are taken” do you really ever believe it?

Just because someone has a Ph.D. doesn’t mean she’s automatically right. Not everyone who analyzes everything understands it. As a matter of fact, maybe she completely missed the point because she preferred to “study” it instead of “feeling” it. The best she can accomplish with her frenemy theory is to give emo kids more reason to hate the world. Spot and stop friends who botch your lovelife? Whatever!

For Zuri

Kiseki

by GReeeeN

(English Translation)

I’ll love you more tomorrow than today
These overflowing emotions won’t stop
Right now I love you so much
I can’t even put it into words

The days you’ve given me accumulate
The days that have passed, the paths we walked together
Whether our meeting was coincidence
Or fate, just the fact that we met
Is a miracle

We walk close together
Making our eternal love tangible
I want to always be smiling by your side
“Thank you” and, ah, “I love you”
Just aren’t enough, just at least let me say
I’m happy

Just having your right hand
Wrapped up
In my left hand
Made me feel your love

We found the little happinesses in each day
In the slow path we walked
Our meeting is just one small thing
In a big world, but just the fact that we met
Is a miracle

Even on days when nothing goes well
Just being together cheers me up
And I can forget the bravado and loneliness
When I’m with you, lala, I can be myself
Just stay with me forever
My beloved

When we fooled around on the way home
That was one of our precious days, too
And when I finally got up the courage to tell you how I felt
The expression on your face was one I’d never seen before
There was a pause, and then you nodded
Our hearts are filled with love
We’re still on our journey
Towards the future that will hopefully continue
For dozens of years

Even if we lose sight
Of tomorrow

We walk close together
Making our eternal love tangible
I want to always be smiling by your side
“Thank you” and, ah, “I love you”
Just aren’t enough, just at least let me say
I’m happy

Even on days when nothing goes well
Just being together cheers me up
And I can forget the bravado and loneliness
When I’m with you, lala, I can be myself
Just stay with me forever
My beloved

Until the last second

I’ll be smiling more tomorrow than today
Just being with you makes me feel that way
Ten years, a hundred years, a thousand years
Let’s spend the time together
I love you

—

For the only person I think about when I hear mushy love songs.. ^_^

Save the Pandas!!

Today, Zuri and I had our pre-first-day-of-school date. Since we’re gonna be busy pretty soon, we decided to spend the day hanging out in SM North.

I woke up late, got there late, and we ended up getting movie tickets for the 3pm showing. Oh well. To kill time we walked around all the usual places: dept. store toy section, Toy Kingdom, Under the Sea (and other creatures), etc. We didn’t really buy anything though.

We got carried away talking about random things and before we realized it, we were ALMOST late for the movie. Kung Fu Panda was okay. It was cute, funny, and it had really famous stars as voice actors: Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu and Jackie Chan. It’s worth watching… but not worth the 300+ we spent on it. *sigh*.. The plot is nothing new.. like most CG animation churned out by the usual makers.. oh well.. it WAS funny.. and the characters were pretty cute.. and quality time IS quality time.. lolz

After that I bought a new bag since my old one was falling apart. It’s the usual mailman bag which I never get tired of. It’s also the standard UP student bag. You see it everywhere..ho hum..

Can’t really think of anything else to write for today.. Just thought I should make an effort to write in my blog more often..

First day of class tomorrow.. And what a better way to start my new sem than with CommRes 101 and Comm 120.. *dendenden*

…I almost want to review before going to sleep… almost..